


i've seen the waters that make your eyes shine

by trainerlyra



Category: Persona 3, Persona 5, Persona Series
Genre: ....ok as usual i forgot and underestimated the amount of angst i write. hm, Acceptance, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Crossover Pairings, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Not Beta Read, Romance, Time Shenanigans, sort of lol - Freeform, that's better
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-05
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-17 23:54:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29234091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trainerlyra/pseuds/trainerlyra
Summary: Two wild cards meet in a coffee shop. Too bad one of them is running on borrowed time.
Relationships: Amamiya Ren/Arisato Minako, Female Persona 3 Protagonist/Persona 5 Protagonist
Comments: 6
Kudos: 26





	i've seen the waters that make your eyes shine

**Author's Note:**

> happy march 5th! did y'all know i really appreciate and enjoy renham? well now you do! here's 8k of them!

For staying in business for as long as it had, Ren had realized long ago that Leblanc didn't get that many new customers. The summer was slowly fading into autumn, and he prided himself on knowing almost everyone who entered the cafe at that point. On occasion, a tourist or someone visiting family in the area would stop by for a quick cup and not return, but very rarely would someone he didn't know stay at the bar or in one of the booths.

Akechi was a more recent addition, yes, but it's not like Ren didn't _know_ Akechi. Or Sae, for that matter. So in his opinion, they didn't count.

So when he came home that day with Morgana to see a new face at the bar, Ren had to hold back his surprised _oh_. She turned to see who it was when the bell jingled, and gave him a wide smile immediately.

_At least she's friendly,_ he couldn't help but think. Not that most of Sojiro's customers weren't. They were just of a different generation.

The girl had her red hair up in a tight ponytail, held up on the side with an odd clip. For some reason, Ren thought she looked almost familiar, despite knowing that he had absolutely never seen her before.

"Sojiro was just telling me about you," she said, gesturing to where he must've been cooking in the back. "I'm Minako Arisato. It's nice to meet you."

Part of Ren expected a flash, as he got from meeting certain people thanks to the Velvet Room, but nothing ever came. He'd filled in most of the major arcana, so he couldn't say he was honestly that surprised.

Nodding in response, he mulled over how he wanted to introduce himself. Since moving to Tokyo, he'd taken a lot more care of how he interacted with others; always trying to figure a person out before deciding on an act. It wasn't that he was lying, really, he was just… being careful. After what had happened in his home town, taking risks where it came to social interaction wasn't exactly high on his list. _Especially_ now that he was also a Phantom Thief and needing to keep a low profile.

She seemed friendly enough, however, so he gave her a small smile. "Likewise," he settled on. "I'm Ren Amamiya." Minako obviously already knew that, but it never hurt to be polite.

Morgana shuffled restlessly in his bag, and he began moving slowly towards the stairs. He contemplated giving a small apology, but didn't end up bothering. He'd never met her before, after all, and just because she was friendly enough to get Sojiro talking about him didn't mean much anymore. Ever since he and the others had helped save Futaba, Sojiro had warmed up to him considerably - not like he wasn't already growing kinder by the day beforehand, but the difference was still noticeable.

Minako didn't seem bothered, however, and turned back to the coffee she had in front of her. As he walked up the stairs, Ren still couldn't shake the feeling that she felt oddly familiar. Almost as if they really _had_ met somewhere before, or like…

He paused on the sixth step, realizing who else gave him a similar feeling. Caroline and Justine? Blinking, he forced himself to continue up. That wouldn't make any sense. Not once had there ever been a sign of someone else living in the cells in the Velvet Room when he visited. Nor had Igor or the twins ever mentioned another presence. It was probably just a coincidence, Ren told himself, finally making it up to the attic.

A very odd coincidence that hadn't happened once since first gaining access to the Velvet Room, but a coincidence nonetheless. That certainly made more sense then the alternative.

"What's on your mind, Ren?" Morgana asked, curling up on his bed. "Anything I can help with?"

Smiling, Ren moved to give him a quick scratch on the ears before changing out of his uniform. He shook his head. "Thanks, though," was all he said, trying to push the strange meeting out of his mind.

There was no point in overthinking it. He'd already agreed to help Hifumi tonight, and she wasn't one to take kindly to tardiness.

* * *

"Don't mind him too much," Sojiro said, giving her a smile. Minako returned it in kind, already digging in to the curry he'd placed in front of her. "He's a good kid, just busy."

Minako nodded sagely. She understood. Back when she was a wild card, she could remember the work she had to put in for her social links - it was a constant battle against the clock, trying to fit everything into one day best she could. That was certainly one thing she didn't miss about the old days, even if just that.

Well, and the fighting for her life part. She mostly didn't miss that, either.

In between bites, she finally found time to reply. "That's okay, mister," she told him, making sure to speak as brightly as she could. Didn't want him getting the wrong idea, after all. "I get it. High school is tough!"

Was that something a reasonable person in this year would say? Probably. Sojiro didn't seem to think much of it, so Minako counted that as a win.

After she had finished her plate, she put the money on the counter before jumping off the bar stool. "Thanks for the delicious dinner!" She said, grinning. "I'll be back for sure. It was nice to meet you." Because really, it was. Being somewhere new was always exciting, even if a little lonely. It was by dumb luck that she'd been drawn exactly to where she wanted to be.

Sojiro just shook his head. "See you tomorrow, kid," he said, giving her a lazy wave as she walked out the door.

Tokyo was a nice place, Minako decided, full of plenty of good people. Even if so many of them were awful, there were always people who shone brightly, no matter where she went. It was one of the many things she had missed while she was inside the seal.

And really, she meant _many_. The seal wasn't as lonely as it could've been, with Ryoji there for company, but _living…_ living was something else. Watching her friends grow and become adults without her had been a bittersweet thing, and despite everything life had thrown at her while she had been breathing along with them, she truly loved being alive.

A second chance had never been something in the cards, but she really should've known that Theodore wouldn't have given up on her. Even if she'd explicitly asked him not to.

And, she mused, it wasn't forever. She wasn't even really _alive_ , she was just… allowed to be among the living again. And only to aid the newest wild card, the one named Ren Amamiya. His task was certainly a grueling one. Maybe, in some ways, even worse than hers had been. At least none of her friends had ever betrayed her. At least _her_ Igor and Velvet Room attendant were actually on her side.

But that's what she was there for, Minako reminded herself, as she found herself walking back to the train station. She'd figure it out somehow, how to help him and his team of Persona users. It sucked not being able to contact anyone, to see any of her friends or even just… let them know she she was okay, that she missed them but she was so proud of all of them, but that's how things went.

Minako knew better to complain, after everything. She was there, she was able to watch over everyone when she inevitably wouldn't be there anymore, and even when she was removed from this plane of existence, she still had Ryoji - and occasionally Theodore - to keep her company. It was honestly more than she could ask for.

She smiled as she hopped on the train, feeling nostalgic. Today might've been a bust in terms of interacting with Ren for real, but tomorrow was a new day. She had plenty of time for once, anyways.

* * *

Ren wasn't even sure if he was surprised when he saw her standing right outside the gates of Shujin Academy, smiling as brightly as the summer sun had weeks ago. With the realization he'd had after he'd met her the night before, he had been half expecting her to show up in his dreams; clad in the blue of the Velvet Room.

She hadn't, of course, and he had woken up that morning feeling mildly disappointed. But there she was, waving at him like they were old friends or something.

"Do you… know her?" Ryuji asked, raising an eyebrow curiously. Before Ren could even get a word in, Ryuji continued. "Man, she looks like a handful." He snorted, clapping him on the shoulder before turning the other way. "I'll leave you to it, RenRen!"

And _whoosh_ , he was off. Unsurprisingly, really, as he'd just finished telling him that he had to go grab some groceries for his mom, but Ren still felt stupidly abandoned. He could practically hear Morgana snickering from his bag.

With a sigh of resignation, Ren made his way over to her. He hadn't gotten a good look at her yesterday, too concerned with his own schedule to really take in someone who wasn't activating a confidant at the time, but he took a moment to take her in this time around. Her red hair wasn't actually that red, more of an auburn or a brown with highlights, and it was in the same style as the day before. Everything she wore was warm, actually, matching the striking red of her eyes that he somehow hadn't picked up on.

Not like Makoto's, whose eyes he had long since gotten used to. No longer did they feel sharp or intimidating. Minako's, however, _did_. They looked like they had been to the ends of the earth and came out the other side, ready to tell the tale. They were also brighter, closer to the color of an apple, making them appear otherworldly.

Morgana was _definitely_ laughing at him now from inside his bag.

"Hello there!" She greeted him to break the silence, apparently sick of waiting for him to start talking first. "We met yesterday, do you remember?"

Ren nodded slowly, not exactly sure how to respond. "You were at Leblanc," he said after a moment. They'd introduced themselves, but he wasn't sure where this was going at all, or why she had been clearly waiting outside of school for him. Especially if she knew he was going to show up at Leblanc later, anyways.

She smiled in response. "You got it," she said, nodding back. "I was hoping to catch you before you went off for the day. Do you have some time to talk to me?" The way she looked at him made him wonder if he even had a choice in the matter.

"I guess," he replied, shifting his weight between his feet. "I need to get some studying done at the diner, if you want to join me there." He'd been planning on inviting Makoto or Yusuke, since they both made for good study buddies, but this was fine too, he supposed. There were also questions he wanted to ask her, depending on what it was she wanted to speak with him about.

Like why his Third Eye was reacting to her in the same way it did the twins. That was certainly on the top of his list.

"Lead the way!" Minako exclaimed, and that was how Ren found himself making his way to Shibuya Diner with Leblanc's newest regular.

* * *

They sat across from each other in silence for a bit. Minako seemed content to wait for him to start the conversation, swaying her legs around since they didn't quite touch the floor. He hadn't realized while standing next to her, but Minako was actually quite short. Maybe around Kasumi or Futaba's height. Her presence made up for it, Ren supposed.

In comparison, Ren felt anxious and twitchy to Minako's calm. He kept shuffling his papers and books around, completely unable to even start working on math while they waited for the drinks they'd ordered. Honestly, he wasn't sure why he'd expected himself to be able to concentrate at all.

He leaned back in the booth a little, glancing down at where Morgana would normally sit in his bag. He'd jumped out before Ren had headed inside, deciding to wander the streets instead of staying cooped up for much longer. Ren almost wished he'd joined him instead, hungry as he was for answers.

"Okay," Ren finally said, breaking the silence that had loomed over him from the moment they'd sat down. "Who are you?"

It was an easy starting question, or so Ren thought. Minako actually laughed. "That's a little more complicated than you'd expect," she said, eyes twinkling. "My name is Minako Arisato, as you know." At his nod, she continued. "I'm seventeen, born July 6th, 1992."

That… made no sense. It was currently 2016. To be seventeen, she would've had to been born in '99. He raised a skeptical eyebrow. "You're lying," he told her, point blank. However, Minako's smile didn't falter, nor did she start to protest.

"I'm not," she shook her head. "In 2009, I started going to a school in Tatsumi Port Island. Did you ever hear of Apathy Syndrome? I think you would've been old enough to at least hear about it."

He wasn't sure why, but Ren decided to give her the benefit of the doubt and think about it. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he vaguely remembered hearing about it when he was a kid. His mother had always been the paranoid type, and there were a few times she had pulled him out of school during it, he thought.

So he nodded at her, slow and steady. _Where is she going with this?_ Ren wondered to himself, doing his best to make sure his face stayed neutral and his hand held firmly onto his pen instead of moving up to twist his hair around. Though he wanted to understand, wanted to believe that the person in front of him was inherently good, he still knew nothing about her - other than the fact that she had an issue with counting time, apparently.

"Right," she said after a moment, giving him some time to take that in. "Apathy Syndrome was actually… you know what? I'll give you the abridged version," Minako paused, sighing. She put her elbows on the table, cupping her face with her hands. Though she had said she was seventeen, she looked much younger in that moment. "Apathy Syndrome was caused by something going wrong in what you know as the Metaverse," she said simply. "In 2009, I made a contract with Igor and became a wild card, and the leader to a group of Persona users. Sound familiar?"

If she hadn't already, Minako certainly had his attention _now_. Still not wanting to give too much away, Ren raised a single eyebrow at her. "And how does that fit in with you being seventeen, but being born in '92?" He asked instead, trying not to let anything show in his voice. Ren knew he was a little more expressive vocally than he was with his face, and at times like this, he almost wished it were the other way around. It was certainly easier to train yourself to school your expression rather than your tone.

Their conversation paused for a moment when the waitress came with their drinks, but Minako didn't want long to resume it. "I know everyone's contracts are different, but mine had to do with stopping the God that was causing Apathy Syndrome cases," she told him, speaking a little quieter as to not attract attention. "In order to do that, however, I had to give up my own life in order to seal it away." She spoke without betraying much emotion of her own, but Ren had to stop himself from doing a double take.

Coming from someone else, Minako's story might've sounded completely unbelievable. Maybe, if she hadn't led with the information about her being a wild card, and the overly specific situation about contracting with Igor in order to do so, he wouldn't have believed her at all. The only Persona users he was aware of were, of course, his own Phantom Thieves, and the Black Mask who kept interfering with their work. Morgana had never mentioned any others, and the Metaverse wasn't exactly widely known the only other place he'd ever heard it from was from Futaba's mother's research, and that was very quickly squashed by someone high up in the government who wanted to keep it under wraps.

Had she not said anything, Ren would've never even guessed. Persona user, maybe. It was out there, but at least he'd seen enough to find it somewhere within him to believe her. From somewhere other than Tokyo, most definitely. The fact that she need him to lead her to the diner was proof enough of that. Someone who would give up their own right to live for the sake of the people?

He blinked. He wasn't sure if even he could ever make a call like that. It didn't just take guts, but an understanding of the universe Ren wasn't sure he would ever have.

"How are you here?" He asked quietly, forgetting who and what he was supposed to be. Talking to her as a person in that moment just seemed like the right thing to do.

Besides, Ren wasn't even sure he had the willpower to try and put on a mask, right then. She was talking to him, face to face, about her own _death_. A sacrifice she had made for the sake of everyone else. Including himself, he supposed. Being that callous was not something he wanted for himself. Not now, not ever.

For a moment, Minako's smile left her face. When it came back, it was a lot more melancholy. Her red eyes looked far, far away; as if they were back at Tatsumi Port Island instead of sitting in a busy diner in the middle of Shibuya. "My attendant, Theodore," she told him. "He never gave up on trying to bring me back, and he finally found a loophole. A conditional one, to be sure, but one nonetheless." Before he could ask her what that meant, or what she was here _for_ , she continued. "Anyways, I'm here to help you. So enough about me! I'd like if you could get me up to speed on what's going on in _your_ world."

The idea that she seemed to expect him to just stop asking questions after dropping a bomb like _that_ was completely ludicrous. However, Minako's expression didn't budge, and she waited eagerly for him to start with wide eyes.

Recalling the way she looked just a moment ago, however, when he had asked her how she was there… Maybe it was kinder not to press her about it. Her story was still somewhat unbelievable, but she did know about Igor and Personas and the Metaverse. And if what she said was true, it would at least make sense for why his Third Eye was reacting in the way that it was with her. Her attendant bringing her back to life probably did _something_ different to her.

But Ren felt somewhat exhausted after listening to her. Not because of her, but because of the content of her short story. She hadn't exactly said much, but it was still a lot to take in. Way too much for someone who still needed to study, Ren thought wryly.

Of course, Minako didn't look like the kind of person who gave up very easily, or took a simple _no_ for an answer. She had showed up at Cafe Leblanc, likely to learn more about him before approaching, and had then showed up at his school and forced him into this conversation. Yes, he had agreed to it, and even wanted to get his own answers, but that didn't absolve her of any guilt in this situation.

"Fine," he said, feeling like he had lost more than just his dignity in giving in to her. "I'll do my best to catch you up to speed."

* * *

After giving her an abridged version of the events leading up to their meeting, Ren felt ten times more exhausted than he had before. And he _still_ hadn't gotten any of his math work done. Some good taking out his books had done him.

But at least he knew for sure she wasn't lying about being a wild card. Not that he had really, truly doubted the girl across from him, but it was nice to have a little extra confirmation. When he'd finished the events section of his story, she'd asked about the current Personas in his arsenal, how high he was able to summon or fuse, and how many he had in his compendium. At those questions, Ren knew she had been honest from the get go.

Not that he'd doubted her much. It took a special kind of person to be able to lie the way she would've had to, with the explanations she had given him.

They'd gone through three rounds of drinks, but none of them seemed to be able to boost his energy enough to finish any work. They weren't even talking anymore. Ren sighed, finally admitting defeat and began putting his books back into his bag.

"Well," Minako said, seeing him start to pack up, "I'm not sure how much use I'll be to you, since you seem to know what you're doing at this point. But know that I'll be around for help. You know, in the Metaverse or with just… wild card stuff," she finished lamely, scooting herself out of the booth.

"Wild card stuff," Ren echoed, holding back a snort. "Right."

He had a feeling she knew more than she was letting on, though, with the way her demeanor had changed the more they spoke. He still wasn't exactly suspicious of her; Minako really did earnestly seem to want to help him. And she certainly didn't seem like she was lying about why she was there - if she was really released from her role as a seal or what have you to help him, he doubted she would lie about wanting to help.

It didn't matter, though, not really. Ren and the rest of the Phantom Thieves had been doing just fine going in blindly, and even if she knew more than he did about his own situation, he wasn't sure he _wanted_ to find out like that. It almost felt a bit like cheating, in a way. And though the voice that had originally granted him a contract had told him that this was _an unfair and unjust game_ , Ren was eager to win on his own means. Whatever that meant.

Minako stretched a bit now that she was standing before giving him another wide smile. "Well, I know where to find you, and you have my number, now." She nodded down at his phone, and he found his eyes flicking to it before looking back at her. "So I'll see you around then, Ren Amamiya. Thanks for hearing me out like this!"

Without another word, and without letting him say anything in reply, she was gone; heading for the exit like there was suddenly a fire in the building. Ren couldn't help but stare at the space she just was, slightly in disbelief.

Definitely hiding something, he decided.

* * *

"Oh man," Minako whispered to herself, frowning deeply now that she was away from the diner and alone once more. "Theo, why couldn't you at least let me contact anyone from SEES?" She found herself asking, not for the first time.

The boy he had brought her back to help really was completely in the dark about what was happening to him. He had no idea about the betrayal that would come to pass, or that her Igor and his Igor were two very, very different beings. Or even that his attendants weren't really the way they were supposed to be.

Minako's frown deepened at the thought of Theodore's younger sister. She had been so cruelly split into two separate beings in order to weaken her. Fighting back a shiver, Minako forced herself to keep walking.

It might've been horrible, but that's what she was there for, after all.

* * *

Ren quickly found he wasn't comfortable calling on Minako for anything that had to do with the Phantom Thieves. Part of it, likely, was his reluctance to introduce her to the rest of the team. Not because he didn't think she'd get along with everyone - it was hard not to feel comfortable around her, he was very easily finding - but more so because he was, honestly, a little scared.

It was a bit pathetic. He knew it as he wrinkled his nose at Morgana's fourth suggestion of introducing her to the group. But for some reason, he couldn't shake the idea that introducing her to everyone else would… somehow undermine him. She was clearly an experienced leader, and it was apparent in almost everything she did.

When they spoke together on late nights in Leblanc, after Sojiro had gone home and told him to make sure he closed everything up properly, the questions she would ask and the suggestions she would give were of someone wise beyond their years. She thought of _everything_ , while Ren felt like he was constantly grasping at straws just trying to stay afloat.

_Being a wild card is a balancing act_ , she'd said to him that night, _you're on a tightrope fifty feet in the air and there's no safety net beneath you. You've got to learn as you go what works best for you_.

But balancing everyone, making sure he was _enough_ for his confidants and making sure he managed to stay on top of school while also organizing his compendium properly was… a lot. More than he was used to.

When he'd moved to Tokyo, he'd been expecting to keep his head down and get through the year. Ren wasn't exactly good at minding his own business, he never had been, but he'd wanted to at least _try_ to learn. He never regretted what he'd one for that woman, not once, but sometimes he wondered if it was truly the right thing to do.

Did most people want to go about their lives without interruption? If something horrible had happened to her, would she just consider it part of life?

These were the kinds of things he wanted Minako's advice on. She'd somehow made it out from her year as a wild card, and her situation, from what little he knew about it, seemed worse than his by a long shot. Tartarus sounded like a horrible place, and the way she looked when she spoke of some of her friends made him wonder if they were even around anymore for her to worry about.

And though he hadn't let her accompany him to any of the Phantom Thieves meetings or trips down to Mementos while they decided on their next candidate to change, the two of them had gone down to Mementos together only once. Ren had been deeply curious about her powers as a wild card, but Minako had just smiled at him and told him that she only had one Persona on her.

Then she brought out a gun, and right when he began screaming _what are you doing holy shit_ and she _shot herself_ in the head, and Ren could feel the force behind whatever Persona she was bringing out. The wind that surrounded her almost blinded him with how fast it whipped his hair around. And _then_ she'd pulled out fucking _Messiah_ , and he knew he'd been beat in every way imaginable.

It was an odd feeling. He wasn't used to feeling so out of place like this, not since he'd become friends with Ann and Ryuji. With the two of them, and slowly, the rest of the Phantom Thieves, he'd found a home. Not just a home, but a place for himself. A role he could meld into, where he was needed. Since he was the wild card, since he had the Third Eye and his contract, Ren had always felt like this was something only he could do.

But looking at Minako, who was otherworldly strong, and a seasoned leader in her own time, Ren felt highly inadequate. She spoke often about how she had balanced her own activities back then, and how difficult her battles were. How often times they merged into the real world, too, but almost in a worse way. Like random people disappearing into Tartarus, and having to haul them out safely.

Like apparently, an actual, real life _gun fight_. Not like the toys he and the rest used, not like the

He didn't resent her for it, but he allowed himself a little bit of selfishness - the rest of the team couldn't meet her.

He wasn't ready to lose either of them, just yet. Especially not to each other. Morgana sighed in defeat, curling up on his bed as he waited for Ren to change into pajamas.

One day he might make sense of his feelings about Minako. Today was clearly not that day.

* * *

"What do you think of that new regular?" Sojiro asked him one morning before school, eyeing him curiously from his place behind the counter.

It took all of Ren's willpower not to choke on the bite of curry he had been wolfing down. "Minako?" He asked, already knowing the answer. At Sojiro's nod, he shrugged. "She's a good friend," he said, hoping it was vague enough for him to stop asking questions about her.

Ryuji, too, kept asking about her. He'd been spending a lot of time with her, lately, and everyone was starting to notice. Ryuji just happened to be the only other person who had actually ever _seen_ her. He and Ann kept calling her his secret girlfriend, to which he refuted every time. He was certain that Futaba had spied on them a few times, too, with her hacking of the entirety of Leblanc, but there was very little he could do about that. The one time he'd asked her to not listen in to their conversation, she'd laughed at him before agreeing on the condition that if she was alerted to any buzz words she'd listen right back in for safety.

Which, well. He should've seen that one coming.

Sojiro, however, was not Ryuji. He was actually _worse_ , Ren was finding out. "Just a friend, huh?" He raised an eyebrow, looking at him like he was an idiot. Ren tried not to wither where he sat. "You two sure are spending a lot of time together lately. Anything going on I should know about?"

"Nope," he said, making sure to pop the _p_ to really drive the point home. "Nothing at all, Boss."

It was the truth. Regardless of the fact that he knew his cheeks were turning red. It was a lost cause, anyway, he kept reminding himself. Minako had made it particularly clear during their first real conversation that she was not going to be a permanent fixture in his life. She was basically dead, or so she kept telling him; she would return to her duty as the Seal when whatever it was she had to accomplish was finished.

There was no point in wanting for something you couldn't have, but Ren was slowly becoming an expert in that field.

The power to change the world, to change the people. The ability to make things better for his friends. A place in the world, a place with people who cared about him where he didn't have to put on a mask. To not have to carry the burden of it all on his shoulders. More time to get everything done. More time in Tokyo, where he was slowly starting to feel like he belonged. More time in general.

Minako.

Whatever expression was on his face must've shown through more than he would've liked, because Sojiro backed off at that and left him to the rest of his curry breakfast. The rest of the meal was spent in silence, with Ren lost in his thoughts.

* * *

"How'd your day go?" Minako greeted him from Leblanc's counter, smiling at him as he walked through the door.

He shrugged, not really knowing how to answer. In some ways, the more he was able to talk to her about things, the less he felt he was able to hide. The less he felt like he knew _how_ to talk to her.

"It was fine," Ren said after a moment, putting his bag on the ground near the door and joining her at the counter.

The rest of Leblanc was empty, save for Sojiro cooking curry in the back, which he was grateful for. He wasn't in the mood to deal with anyone else that day. Akechi had been dropping by more often, as had Sae, and while it wasn't like he _disliked_ either of them, he certainly didn't trust them.

They weren't the kind of people he'd be able to talk to Minako in front of, anyways. If Sojiro could pick up on something, the two of them most certainly would, and likely use it against him if it ever came down to it.

He knew it was a horrible thing to think about someone. Especially in Akechi's case, where Ren had a gut feeling that they were more similar than the older boy let on. But he couldn't help it. After his stunt that landed him a criminal, he was suspicious and distrustful of nearly everyone around him. The only exceptions were the Phantom Thieves, and Minako herself.

Minako gave him a sympathetic smile. "You seem out of it," she commented, perceptive as always. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

_Yes. No. Maybe_. He wasn't really sure anymore. The more he spoke to Minako, the more he realized how much he wanted to be around her. The more he realized that, the more he realized that this wasn't at all forever. That even if she could somehow follow him back home when he left Tokyo, she was still technically dead. Like a walking ghost, haunting his every step.

A beautiful walking ghost. One with a smile that lip up the world around him. One who was also honest and intelligent, and far, far too good for someone like him - someone who was selfishly scared of his friends seeing all of that in her, too. Someone who couldn't handle the weight of everything and had to rely on someone who _had._

Ren shook his head, giving her the gentlest smile he could manage. When they were this close, he could see the different shades of red in her eyes that reflected in the low light of Leblanc. "Thanks, though," he told her, trying hard to convey what he really meant.

_Thanks for putting up with me. Thanks for understanding. Thanks for not being disappointed. Thanks for all of your help, all of your time, and everything else you do. I don't understand you do it, but I am so glad you're here._

Minako's expression grew soft, and she tilted her head slightly as she smiled at him. "Don't mention it," she said.

Not for the first time, he wondered exactly what she thought of him behind those red eyes of hers. He wasn't sure if he was brave enough to find out.

* * *

Minako watched him quietly walk up the stairs, after another night of long conversations with him. He had bid her goodnight, and she'd laughed a little when he reminded her to get home safely.

Sometimes, she wish she knew more about his situation. Or more about anything at all. Half the time when they spoke, she wasn't at all sure if what she was telling him was helpful or just complete gibberish. So much of what she had done back when she was the field leader in SEES was pure instinct, and she had made her fair share of mistakes, too.

Like not catching what was going on between Ken and Shinjiro before that awful night in October. Like not knowing what to say to Junpei when Chidori had almost died. Like everything that had happened with Ryoji, and Aigis, and…

Her list of mistakes was not as slim as she had a feeling Ren thought it was. She wished she knew how to explain that to him better.

* * *

It didn't take long for Minako to catch on and confront him. Ren supposed he should've expected something like that. For all her stories, for everything he knew about her, she had always been the kind of person to take action. Never one to sit by idly, especially if there was something she could do to fix whatever it was that was broken.

The problem here being, of course, that there was nothing to fix. Ren had realized that he had no choice in his feelings, but that didn't mean he didn't have a choice in how to act on them.

Minako wouldn't be there forever. That fact was laid out from him from the beginning, from their very first conversation. If he couldn't deal with it, couldn't deal with the way that he'd begun to feel about her, then the best he could do was move away from it. The more distance, the easier it would be to let go when the time came.

_Besides_ , he kept reminding himself. He'd learned enough from her already. The advice she'd given him, the shoulder she had let him cry on, had become invaluable to him. Getting through the Morgana incident, getting through what had happened after they had stolen Okumura's heart… None of that would've been possible, Ren knew, if he hadn't remembered the things he and Minako had spoken about.

But this was _Minako_ , of course, and nothing was ever that simple when it came to her. Nothing at all.

She had cornered him in Leblanc, purposefully waiting until it was about to close when she sauntered in, flipped the sign to close, and stood in front of the counter with her arms crossed and lips pursed. Though she was smaller than he was in stature, her presence was not. He wasn't surprised - this was a girl who held Messiah inside of her heart. Height was nothing in comparison to _that_.

"Why have you been ignoring me?" She asked him, cutting straight to the chase. "And please don't try and deny it. I know you have been."

Ren didn't even bother looking away, much as he wanted to. She was right, and now that she had figured it out, it was easier not to pretend everything was fine. He wasn't, however, about to confess _why_.

Lucky for him, he was a very good liar. Even if he didn't want to be. "Nothing personal," he said with a shrug, keeping his eyes locked on her own in an attempt to look more believable. "I've been busy. I feel like I've learned all I can from you, anyways."

It wasn't entirely incorrect, which Ren hoped would sell it a little more. He didn't know what else she could still help him with, besides being another wild card that understood the weight of leading others and trying to stop something bigger than your own body. And he _had_ been busy. All of the Phantom Thieves had their hands tied, trying to figure out what to do about Akechi. That certainly took up quite a bit of his time that he normally would've spent talking in Leblanc, or in the Shibuya diner, with Minako.

But, of course, it wasn't entirely true, either. And Minako wasn't stupid.

"I don't believe you," she told him point blank. "I think you're lying. You would've told me if that's what was really going on." Though Minako's words were full of confidence, he could tell in her stance that she wasn't just angry, she was genuinely upset. Her arms were tucked in tight, almost as if trying to console herself, and her red eyes were wide.

Despite how sad she seemed, she wasn't letting that control her or how she spoke to him. It once again showed Ren how large the divide was between the two of them. It hurt more than he expected it to.

When they'd first began talking, learning from Minako had felt… new and exciting. It had been a privilege to know another wild card, and one that was so full of life and wonder even after everything she'd experienced. She held no ill will for the people who had wronged her, for the ones she and the rest of her team had fought against. Only compassion. It was a breath of fresh air in Ren's world, where he and the rest of the Phantom Thieves wanted retribution.

Sure, some of their motives were pure. He didn't think a single member of the Phantom Thieves were only in it for revenge against society. But it wasn't the same. Minako and SEES had fought from the shadows, not letting a single person who wasn't involved hear about them. Everything they did was kept under wraps as to not scare anyone, or drag them in to a fight that wasn't theirs.

But more so then that, it hurt to think about the fact that the world had lost such a person and hadn't even blinked. Most people probably didn't even know. Did anyone outside of her team even remember her, since she had become the Seal? Ren wasn't sure, and the idea wracked him with guilt and grief.

He was so, so selfish. Selfish for having these feelings for her. Selfish for not being able to be as good as her. Selfish for wanted something from the world that he didn't _need_.

How did you explain that to someone? How could he, when he knew Minako's answer would be to just forgive him and tell him all of those things were understandable? Ren didn't want that. He didn't deserve her kindness when it came to that. Especially since he'd just spent the last few weeks completely blowing her off because he was afraid, like he was a little kid in his first thunderstorm again.

He wasn't ready to lose her. He wasn't ready to come to terms with the fact that he wasn't what he wanted to be. He wasn't ready for any of it.

At his prolonged silence, Minako sighed, finally unfolding her arms. She didn't look disappointed, but perhaps that was worse. Ren wasn't really sure. "I'll go for now, then," she said, and smiled sadly at him.

Before she could turn around fully, he reached out and snagged her wrist. There was no pulse, Ren realized belatedly, but the sensation of nothingness didn't shock him as much as it probably should've. "Wait," he said, finally taking off his mask again and allowing himself to be _real_. "I'm just… you're dead."

It wasn't exactly an eloquent way to put it, but he was long past it. Minako quirked an eyebrow at him. "I know," she said, clearly not sure what he was getting at.

He pushed his free hand through his hair, sighing roughly. "I'm not ready to accept that you won't be around after this is all over. That time keeps going, whether or not I want it to. That despite all my power, all the things I _can_ change, I can't change _this_." His grip on her wrist tightened, but Minako didn't pull away.

Her lips slowly parted in surprise. "Oh," she breathed out softly, as if this was somehow the shock of a century. Ren had assumed he'd been rather obvious, but he supposed Minako wasn't all seeing. "I… I'm sorry."

Letting go of her, he gave her a wry smile. "You can't control it either," he reminded her. "You didn't even know that your Velvet Room friend would give you a chance at all. I don't blame you for having to go back to your duty." And he didn't, not at all.

Though nothing was changed, he already felt a little lighter now that he'd spoken to her again. He wouldn't admit it, but the weeks without having her to speak to about the craziness that had begun to unfold around him was getting to him. Even the rest of his friends had noticed it, which was telling enough. Usually he was fairly decent at keeping it together for the sake of the people he cared about.

"But Ren," Minako said, sounding out each syllable slowly in contrast to the way her gaze kept flickering between his eyes and his lips, "you'll regret the chances you don't take, you know?"

Before Ren even had a chance to ask what she was talking about, he blinked and her lips were a breath away from his own. His eyes widened for a split second and then snapped shut, almost as if he weren't in control of his body.

He definitely didn't feel in control of himself as his hands wrapped around her waist, as he pressed his lips onto hers, as he felt her hands tangle themselves in his hair. Nor did he feel in control as he pushed himself closer into her, wishing he was soaking up body heat that simply wasn't there.

Still, Ren felt himself melt a little into her; her small frame feeling larger than life against him.

Fool he was, indeed.

* * *

"I won't stop looking for a way to save you, you know," he told her, the night before Christmas, knowing this was possibly the last time they'd get to see each other. He didn't know what was going to come, he didn't know how things would end or what he'd have to do to fix the hearts of the nation, but he did know that their time together was coming to a close. He'd done what he could and just had to hope it would be enough.

But Ren was beginning to learn the wonders of never giving up. Though he'd never met him, he was also starting to understand why her Velvet Room attendant Theodore had jumped at the first chance he'd found to help this person.

The pins that she always wore to keep her bangs up, he'd finally noticed, was the number twenty two. Despite being a wild card, Ren probably didn't know as much about tarot as he probably should, but he wasn't completely ignorant. The World was the final card, number twenty one. Following was the rebirth of the Fool, and Ren wasn't blind to the symbolism there. He wondered if it was intentional.

Knowing Minako, probably.

She gave him a smile. It wasn't over eager, as some of her expressions were, nor did it seem sad. It was honest and simple; letting him know exactly what she thought of that. "You can try," she said. "But I'm not meant to be here anymore. And that's okay. I accepted my duty then, just as I do now."

In some ways, he knew it was probably harder for her the first time. She hadn't really known if it would work, and she wasn't just leaving behind living - she was leaving behind everyone she had ever known. All of her friends, the very people she'd fought to protect, and everyone else she'd ever formed a bond with.

This time, he was the only person she had to say goodbye to. He supposed that was a small blessing.

She was much, much stronger than he was. No longer did that thought make him hurt, make his chest ache with feelings of inferiority. Ren had his place, just as she had hers, and that was alright.

Tomorrow, he would give himself in to the police. Tomorrow, Minako would disappear, as her mission had been accomplished. Tomorrow, everything would change. At least he didn't have to see her go. At least he could pretend that when he was finally released, she would be there waiting for him with a smile and words of praise.

The hand holding hers fell a little slack. "I… don't want you to go," Ren admitted, looking down at the floor. Leblanc was empty, Sojiro had been kind enough to give them free reign of the place knowing what was to come in regards to him, but it still felt odd to be having this kind of conversation there and not in his own space upstairs. "I don't want to say goodbye. I don't think I'll ever be ready for that."

He wondered, in the back of his mind, if this was how all of SEES had felt, years before him. This person, this shining light in front of him, was willingly giving herself up a second time for everyone, regardless of it they deserved it or not. He wondered if that was how Theodore had felt, too; that it wasn't fair that of all people, she had to be the one who had to go.

Despite how much his heart ached, though, Ren didn't regret it. Didn't regret one single moment he'd spent with Minako, no matter the fact that he knew it wouldn't be forever. That once she was gone, there was little chance of them ever meeting again.

It wasn't a long time that he'd really known her. It wasn't a long time that he'd been in Tokyo, either, but that hadn't stopped it from becoming home. Just like her being dead hadn't stopped him from wanting to be with her for the time they had.

"You don't have to be," Minako whispered, breathing deeply. The red in her eyes sparkled a little with unshed tears. "I'd never ask that of you, Ren. No matter what, I am glad we spent this time together. I've learned from you, just as you have from me."

It had never seemed like that, never felt that way, but who was he to question her? Not when she looked at him like that, her eyes wide and honest, her face slightly flushed. When she ever lied to him, anyways? Unlike him, she never tried putting on a mask or hiding how she really felt. Minako was as genuine as they came.

He wondered, briefly, if dying and being reborn - for however long - had anything to do with it. Can't lose much when you've already lost everything, Ren supposed.

But he paused for a moment, thinking. _Had_ she really lost everything, when she'd given herself up to the Seal? Because of Minako, he was there. Because of Minako, the whole _world_ was there, and the people she loved had been able to keep on experiencing life.

Because of his sacrifice, his friends wouldn't be implicated, and they could all go on without a criminal record. And Ren knew he'd do it again and again, too, every time.

And that wasn't the only sacrifice he'd realized he was willing to make. When he'd first heard Minako's story, Ren wasn't convinced that he would ever be able to make that kind of a choice, no matter what the circumstances were. Now, though, when he had been face to face with so many larger than life ordeals, he felt the opposite.

For the people he loved, he would do anything. "I wonder if that's what it means, to be a wild card," he said quietly, letting out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. For the first time all night, it felt like his lungs could actually take in oxygen, instead of it just passing through.

Minako didn't question him, and he didn't elaborate. Instead, they spent the rest of their time together in silence, just enjoying the experience of having the other there. It wasn't often that Ren really took the time to take in something so simple, but he supposed most of the time, he didn't really think he'd never get the experience again.

_I still won't stop searching,_ he promised himself, trying to memorize every detail of the person sitting across from him. _No matter what, I won't forget you, Minako._

Though he didn't speak the words, at her smile, Ren was confident that she knew.

**Author's Note:**

> this was originally intended for persona rare pair week in 2020 (day??? coffee shop prompt), adding this as 2 out of ? of mitzi's fics that she forgot were finished and didn't upload lol  
> i don't even remember why i didn't post it during the event. i think i just forgot bc i got consumed by genshin.....whoops. renham superiority, for the record, on the wild card ships. just in case you were wondering (sorry red, pgkt still good, my heart just beats for minako. you understand)


End file.
